We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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