Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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