Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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