Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
