he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
