his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
