She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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