Pappa wants mamma naked
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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