No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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