My hair reeks of homosexuality.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
