i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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