So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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