this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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