please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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