my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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