I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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