doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
