Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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