How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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