I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
