My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
handjob tips. give me some.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
