This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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