I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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