You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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