Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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