On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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