yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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