i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
COCAINE IS GR8
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party