If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?