I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
