Cold hands, warm shart.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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