He uses pillows to masturbate.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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