I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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