Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
