Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He did a backflip because drugs
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
