Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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