Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
