Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
