I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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