My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
