I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
