Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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