dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.