By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
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20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.