if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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