well you can't waste a boner
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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