we have pet lesbian snakes
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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