so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
