no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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