turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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