Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
