Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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