Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
