So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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