So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
