We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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