If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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