you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
