Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
