Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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