But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
